- Many lads have lived regretting how they sponsored some damsel lawyers who ended up breaking the relationship
- Lady lawyers, some reported, arguably telling their boyfriends to stop sexual emotions and bring facts on their love
- Lawyers like to speak facts not fictional hence much unsubstantiated talk becomes nuisance to them
Most people understand that a person’s profession influences their personality and their general outlook in life but few know how.
In dating and life in general, nothing can substitute for concrete knowledge on what to expect from the person you’re dealing with.
The legal field is one of the most rarefied (glorified) professions in the society, even more elevated than the medical field, although in fact medicine admits with higher grades than law at the entrance point.
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As a result of this the legal field is so shrouded in mystery that the average person treats lawyers with a mix of admiration and suspicion.
There’s a general perception that lawyers are clever and cunning, and that they often have an angle to everything they do.
Women lawyers are often perceived to be something of activists or ‘all about rights.’ This perception permeates even among the lawyers themselves.
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A lady advocate therefore must consciously build a different identity and public image to counter this limiting perception, both for the dating market and for life itself.
General instructions therefore for dating learned friends:
1. If you finished form 4 and scored your C minus or a D and you have this lawyer boyfriend who you think will marry you, stop daydreaming my friend.
It’s very rare for a lawyer to be intellectually compatible with a diploma person. This is not pride but reality. You’re not qualified you’re just available.
2. Legal training is very rigorous mentally and by the time one comes through it they have almost completely been transformed in their thinking.
And because law emphasises facts over feelings, most lawyers will demonstrate this ‘facts-oriented’ reasoning. Bear with it and gently train your lawyer lover how to speak emotional language.
3. Mind games is an integral part of their training, so it’s easy to charm a lawyer intellectually.
The difference between lawyers and defence forces is the weapons they use to fight.
The soldier fights with fire power, the lawyer uses words and wit.
If you date a lawyer it helps when you’re an avid reader and you engage them in subjects of mutual interest. Your conversations will be deep and enriching.
4. Differentiate the arrogant from the great.
From early in law school we were indoctrinated into this intellectual superiority notion, being told to carry ourselves in a manner worthy of the profession.
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From the cloths you wear to the way you talk and the places you visit, you must not embarrass the profession by in any way behaving like a commoner.
In the surface there’s nothing wrong with this as long as you do all that with humility and a sense of proportion.
The problem is so many lawyers take this the wrong way: they feel that they have a point to prove and they live above their means;
Others become impatient with the process of growth and mastery which includes a long and humbling apprenticeship phase lasting close to 10 years during which one is under teachers and masters doing a lot of work and receiving little or no recognition.
Those who develop a sense of entitlement by simply being advocates never submit to this process and as a result they never master anything.
Trying to assert expertise which they don’t possess, they develop a bloated ego and intimidating people with legal jargon.
You must never be impressed or in any way intimidated by this type. Arrogance is the fool’s idea of strength.
The real great lawyers, on the other hand, will hardly ever introduce themselves by their titles or the big corporates they work for, or by flaunting the cars they drive.
They have learnt that those things often hinder connection and therefore they don’t hold them right in front.
You will only gradually come to know and like them by their grace and friendly manner.
Their superiority is not the arrogant, ugly self-promotion of the vain lawyer, but a calm self assurance that radiates from them.
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You will sense an air of royalty around them, and you will be impressed by how they make you, not them, the centre of attention.
If you have a chance with this type, marry them at once. They’re good and pleasant people, their profession not withstanding.
This piece about the intricacies surrounding the legal profession and lawyers is authored by:
James mwenda
Nairobi Kenya